What kind of friend are you..???

It's been a while since i last posted anything new in my blog.. Cos the person who wanted me to create this blog hasn't been around since January and she will never be around the office anymore cos she got an offer from the federal government.. So therefore now, she's in Penang undergoing classes and training for dental thingy.. I miss my beb Hunny Bee...*sob2*

Talking about friends, recently some friends got way overboard about how i don't spent times with them anymore and blah, blah, blah... U see, when people said to you that they're your best-friend, you assumed that they'll understand your situation no matter how horrible that situation can get.. But if u're claiming being best friend then later claiming that ur friend didn't spend enough time with u, rather than attacking/assuming/take things into ur own matter/having "because i-am-right-and-important-than-anything-else" attitude, u must be one selfish and not-understanding bitches/assholes..

Ok, here's my situation.. Since last year, i got a few personal problems of my own.. I went through 3 break-ups within last year itself.. My never-ending family problems.. I'm having financial problems too cos i've been saving so that i can buy a house, so this means a change of hangout style (no more overspending on eating/buying things that would literally empty my wallet).. And to top it off, i gained weight, like seriously gaining cos i choose to succumb to my lost love (which he didn't give a f**king shit about my well being) and this weight-gaining really get the best of me (yes, i am depressed watching those kilos figure keep on climbing).. Oh, and also when a certain someone keep on bugging me to give him another shot (i lost count of how many shots i already gave him), this add to another problem for my brain to work their cells off everytime this certain someone would just simply raised an issue about how i won't commit to him and keep on blaming the same old mistake about me and "the other one".. Argghhh...sometimes i feel like shutting everyone out and run away but it's hard cos running away isn't the answer to any problems..

So, this one particular "friend", who, of all people knew what i went through last year, starts questioning about why i don't wanna hangout with her anymore.. I've explained to her i got a lot of things in my mind and i cannot cope up with her lifestyles and how she can spend her money anytime she wanted, and she said i was being ridiculous and just giving her excuses.. God..!! I even told her i bring my own food from home for lunch almost everyday cos i wanna save and she wasn't satisfied with that.. If i was a bad friend, why would i attend her b'day party every year without fail when she won't even ask how i wanted to spend my own birthday? I even apologise cos i choose to keep things on my own and do not want to burden anyone with my problems cos i know they can't do much about it and how i need someone who would be more than a listener and who would actually be there through my shittiest situations and who could actually accept my drastic change of lifestyle.. I was hurt by this "friend's" attitude and she wouldn't even apologise to me after i've explained about my missing-in-action situation..

So, i've decided to shut her out until she knew how much her accusations hurt me and apologise to me for not being understanding about my situation.. Not everyone is as lucky as she is and i am one of those people who's not that lucky.. I just don't get it why she wants things to go according to her ways only and that once in a while, if she would actually open her eyes to the fact that some of her friends (like me for instance) can't just simply follow her lifestyle/saying.. Go act being the mean bitch to someone else who actually irritates u and not on ur friends who has real problems..

p/s: I know i don't have the rights to condemn this particular "friend", but hey, i did apologise, didn't i? At least i can still put away my ego and be humble about my situation, so why can't she?

Good day and ciao ppl...

Satisfied..?? Definitely...

I feel so satisfied... About what??  Well, the fact that he's back here recently and i told him i don't wanna see him... I turned down his invitation to attend his cousin's wedding (which he said is an extended invitation from his mom... Please la...) cos i told him i will not let him make a fool of myself like before... And most priceless of all, when i gave him his birthday present (which i passed to the sister whom i asked to pass it to him...) and along with a card... Let's just say that was one helluva card i gave him... 

Ever had that feeling when you wanted to make those people who hurt you feels the same feeling when they hurt you? And when you know that it just take a few simple words to make them feel exactly the same hurtful feeling you've experienced before and when you succeed making them feel like that, the victorious feeling of beating them in their own game pleased you to the max...??? I had the pleasure of that satisfied feeling last wednesday... He said thanks and wished to see me... Then, on his last day in town, he even told me he was boarding his plane already and gonna be leaving soon, with his regret of unable to meet me and said thanks face to face... Was i moved by his words..?? No... Do i have a smirk on my face after i read his text...Hell Yes...!!!

 

Haahhh... Karma's definitely a bitch and revenge is oh-so indefinitely sweet... At least now he'll get the idea of how would a person feels when playing with people's feeling... Him and his never-ending excuses... Now, take that excuses from me...!!  Yep, you've got that one coming, my luv...You've got that one coming.... To  my beb Hunny BEE... i know you'll love this next image... hehehe....

 Cute kan beb...?? Pandai buat muka menyindir panda ni... ahahaha... LOL... Ciao my peeps...

 

Wat's the meaning of friendship nowadays...??

Apa yg anda akan rasa kalo org yg kita sangka ikhlas bekawan n menolong kita time kita susa then tiba2, tanpa discuss apa2, post yg bukan2 di Fb dia? Yang bestnya tu, dia post simple ja & kita memang nda sangka kita la yg kena cakap2 tu kalo nda baca komen2 yg diikuti selepas tu post kena publish... Yang nda syok tu, orang2 yg ikut2 komen tu xtau ceta sebenar tp becakap macam mulut nenek kebayan ja... Kalo la yg ikut2 menyokong post tu tau, durang sendiri prnh kena "dimulut-mulutkan" oleh si tuan punya post tu, apa la yg durg akan wat...? Confirm durang pun akan rasa perasaan yg aku rasa ni secara berperingkat-peringkat:- terkejut, terpana, kecewa, sedih dan last sekali rasa sakit hati... Rasa terkejut sebab nda sangka kita la yg kena cakap2... Rasa terpana sebab nda sangka sampai gitu jadinya si "member" ni pnya perbuatan... Rasa kecewa sebab kita sangka dia sebagai member akan berfikiran matang & at least discuss benda ni & bukan minta perhatian dari postnya d Fb... Rasa sedih sebab kita sangka kita ni dianggap kawan tapi bila ada benda kecil yg macam tu pun si "member" ni nda mo cakap direct sama kita... Then yg last ni rasa sakit hati sebab urang2 yg ikut2 komen, yg nda tahu-menahu apa ceta mo busybody... Sakit hati sebab si "member" kasi iya sja smua komen2 nenek2 kebayan skalian tu... Dan rasa sakit hati sebab klu durg nenek2 kebayan ni tau durg sndri pernah dijaja ceta durg, durg garu2 kali hati durg yg nda seberapa tu kali aa...

Aku malas la sama perangai2 nenek2 kebayan ni yg "trip"2 high school... Maksud aku d sini, please GROW UP la BITCHES... Yang seorg ni (Nenek kebayan No.1), sda la bini+mama urg, tp kuat cari skandal sana-sini...kin malu laki & anak ja... Yang seorg ni plak (Nenek kebayan No.2), memang bini+mama urg, tp bini terbiar ba ni... Jadi mo membalas perbuatan lakinya, dia pun ikut2 la ber"skandal" sana... Yg lucu tu, mo "trip"2 b'skandal tp bila dia dpt tau yg skandalnya tu laki/bf urg, mo b'sakit2 hati plak... Sedar2 la ko sana ooii... Namanya pun skandal, b'apa ko mo jeles2...? Baek kalo skandal ko tu ada sakit hati bila dpt tau yg ko tu bini terbiar... Buduh ka nda..? Last but not least, yg si tuan pnya post Fb hampeh ni... Kalo aku kasi tau si NK.No1 yg ko tu b'cinta-cintun sama cousinnya sendiri, apa ko rasa? panas ka nda...? Ko mati2 suru aku kasi rahsia kan...? But wat if i decided to be such a bitch and tell NK.No1 about ur love affair...? Kompom2 la ba ko akan rasa kelima-lima perasaan yg aku rasa time ko minta perhatian sna Fb ko... Ko siap wish aku mampus lg kan...? P*****K la ko sna... Syaitan..!!! Nda apa, aku doakan ko sihat walafiat sehingga ke anak cucu... Sebab aku malas mo layan perangai "high school" kamu sana... Teda faedah2 sama aku... Baek aku layan life aku... I'll juz leave it to karma to bite kamu pnya pathetic and hypocrite friendship sana... Sumpah aku xmo join kamu lepak2 next time... Kamu telampau kuat "angkat bakul" masing2... Bel-aa aku sma "tripping" kamu tu... Yuckk!!! Bikin geli, tau tak..??

(Walaupun bukan mukaku tp ekpresi mukanya yg mahal... Mambari gali... ^_^)

Ikutkan hati, mo juga balas postnya yg nda seberapa tu tp kalo aku buat gitu ertinya aku pun minta perhatian la tu kan...? Ishhh3x... Aku xmo same level sma geng nenek kebayan tu... Nda apa la, biar aku kasi simpan image ja utk menggambarkan perasaanku...

(Kalo dpt kasi kuyak2 mulut kepoh durg mcm ni kan best... hehehe)

(Nah, kalo dpt timbak2 durg pun best jga... huahuahua...)

(Tak kesah putus "member" ngan korg pun sbb teda untung apa2 pun... Buekk... >_<)

Last but not least.... Paling kiut ni image seterusnya....

(Adaku kesah...??!! Be gone Sluts...)

Semoga mereka "sadang"2 la sma gaya buruk durg tu... Aku pun jahat jga tp nda pernah2 aku sumpah2 member p mampos mcm yg durg buat ni... Anyways, like i said... Be gone all u Unprofitable Sluts... I never wanna be involved with y'all anymore... Toodloo... Sehingga ke post seterusnya my peeps... Ciao...

How to make this feelings go away...? Damn, i still miss H**...

Hmm... How to start on tis one? Ok, lets try tis a'ite? Remember when we 're still kids, when mommy gave us our 1st try of candies or chocolates, just to let us know what it tasted like? And then we started to ask for more but mommy won't let us have more and we started to scream our lungs out, crying for more candies but we didn't get more of it cos mommy said its gonna make our teeth rotten & ugly? But mommy did promise to give some next time... So, we anticipated for the "next time" candy and chocolate session... Wat i'm feeling is kinda same like wanting those candies and chocolate but i wasn't anticipating, i'm feeling more to missing something or someone...

And the fact is, i still missed the same damn person who broke my heart last September... Damn him... Try as i may to forget, hell, even to despise him for wat he did to me, i can't ignore the fact tat i still miss him... Stupid rite? So much for the effort i tried so hard to forget what happened but it's not tat easy... Why its not easy...? cos i heard his name on the radio... I saw his name on tv, billboards, signboards, the internet... Hell, even at work his name constantly came up... Every single day... So imagine my willpower trying to at least ease my mind and heart off of him but that's what happen to me... At one point, i even tried to hate him but i'm not that kind of person... I can only reminisce our great, happy memories together... I made a mental reminder to myself everyday that this is the guy who made 1001 excuses to get out of our relationship when he was the one who started everything and then ruined it just like that... I tried so hard to push the guilty feeling for which i know i'm not to be blame, well not for everything at least, that i've never ask him to commit anything and that i just want to work out our relationship, period... And for sure i never question his whereabouts and trust but somehow he just said the relationship is not gonna work out just the way we both wanted it... Which really taken me aback cos he never really put any effort to save our so-called relationship...

Then reality hit me hard when i finally realized it was never been me who has a problem with the so-called relationship but it was always him... I put the effort to save whatsoever left of the relationship but you can't save anything or anyone alone, can you? It's just like going into a battlefield alone without your team behind you and they just watch u fall... I was devastated cos i told him time and time again don't take me for granted and made me an experiment for his personal issues but he assured me he's not... and like a puppy i just believe and listened to him... So, it looks like i was in a one-sided mutual feeling relationship that's going nowhere... And still, after knowing all these, i still can't bring myself to despise him... Silly girl... Hence, my post title today... How to make this feelings go away...? The more i try not to think about it, the more frenzier my feelings became... Huuhhh... I think i need an anti-stress pill or a vacay A.S.A.P... Ciao my peeps...

Annoying to D MAX...!!!

Lately, bnyk btul org yg kin panas.... Ada yg ada kemampuan bergerak secara fizikal but nda mo btul angkat their asses off the floor... Pnya sandi la ba kan tahap kemalasan yg gitu tu... As if durang sja yg kunun2 penat and bnyk kerja... Ugghhh.... Plz la, don't  make me puke... Tu namanya juz being plain lazy...

Ada lagi yg kunun mo trip2 manja tp actualy bikin meluat tu gaya... Klu kepingin sangat mo manja2, pi la ba minta attention sma bf/gf masing2... Gross...!! Ni ada ka yg time2 orang pun tgh sibuk layan diri sendiri yg nda telayan, ada plak yg sibuk2 buat gaya bikin muntah... Agak2 la ba tripping tu... Bukannya nda bleh minta attention tapi biarla sama orang yg betul (i.e: gf, bf, laki, bini, BFF)... Bukan semua orang ada masa mo layan gaya yg mcm taik2 ni, including me... 

 

Dan yang paling sandi antara smua yg sda disebut di atas, yg suka kasi down @ merendah2 kan @ mengutuk orang yg melampau... Ada la sorang manusia ni, suka becakap ikut sedap mulut dia tp dia lupa ukur baju d badan dia sendiri... Ada plak yg sorang tu lagi, orang yg tidak berkeupayaan pun bleh jd bahan jenaka utk dia... sedangkan ampai2 la ba dia tu waras n nda cacat tp klu mengutuk tu ba, teda limit langusng... se-teruk2 pun orang yg ko kutuk tu at least educated... Ni mo dilada ba ni mulutnya, krg kebalikan, apa ko rasa? aku pun suka mengutuk jga tp nda la ba sampai mengutuk org yg kurang upaya...

Oh, ada lagi satu yg btul2 kin panas sama aku... Ada orang tu, status fb dia minta wish tuah utk dia (luck la ba ni kunun)... Utk apa, teda plak dia cakap sna, juz wish me luck dia bilang... Aku pun wish la dia, ya la, mna la tau kan benda tu means so much to him... skali tu dia cakap ja, "thanx u guys"... Guys? GUYS..??!!  So, i'm one of d guys sja la... Well, hello... In case u didn't notice or ignorant, d last  time i checked i'm a girl... And u have d nerve to remain friends wit me after wat u did... Buduh pnya lelaki... Memang ngam la ba aku cakap dia tu bengong... lelaki sma pompuan pun nda bleh kasi beza... Klu yg lain, bkn main lg dia p refer trus guna nama tp sy "u guys" kunun... F**k off la... U can forget of rekindling anything with me and kiss ur ass and shut d hell up... And i'm dedicating d upcoming pic especially for him... Memang ngam la ba sma ko... BUDUH....

 

Sda la buduh, minta bayar tax lg... Thank God i'm not a fan of tis stupid fast food franchise.... But then again, i was never a fast food fan...  Ok, cukup la... Kin sasak ja ni klu lama2... Ciao peeps...

Movie Night....

I went to watch movie last nite since it's movie day... I've been wanting to watch Devil:The Night Chronicles but i wanna watch it when it's worth spending (on movie day la i wanna watch cos tickets will be cheaper and i've my reasons for wanting cheap tickets... LOL), so last nite i watched it with d companion of someone-only-for-me-to-know, Mr. IE.... hahaha

I wanna watch this movie 'cos the plot of the story was about a hit-and-run incident and the devil was out to get the culprit... the reason why i wanna watch tis movie on movie day cos 1). Of cos for the cheap tickets ; ) ...  2). It has an interesting plot... 3). It's a 3-part movie and nowadays a chronicle movie is the "in" thing... and lastly cos tis movie is by the famous flop movie director Mr. M. Night Shyamalan... Normally, i'll just wait for any movies from him to come out in DVDs or Astro 'cos most of his movie has a weird and kinda-hang ending... Tat's why i wanna watch this movie when it's worth spending money for the tickets...

Turns out the movie was quite okay and not so disappointing... i'll give a 3star out of 5star for the rating... and i just so loved the beginning of the movie which the camera's angle was upside down... so it was the city tat was on top and the ocean was at the bottom... Just like the pic on top of this post... I won't say much but i just wanna say i did enjoy the movie and, well of course, the company of my companion last nite (wink wink)... Next movie will be Eat Pray Love and Life As We Know It... ciao...

I wish....

I wish u'd never ignore me with no reason...

I wish we could at least talk about what's messing up our head...

I wish u'd at least answer my calls or call me...

I wish u've never ask for my ring size...

I wish u've never took me to meet your family...

I wish i've never asked u those stupid question...

I wish we'd never took that joyride adventure...

I wish u'd never came back for my birthday...

I wish we never had that stupid fight...

I wish whatever happen in K.L can be undone...

I wish i never took that trip too...

I wish u'd never say "I won't give up on u babe...never..."

I wish u'd never ask me "why wait for 3 more years...? Why don't we start now...?"

I wish i never ask u to tag along in my personal game last year...

But most of all, i never wish things between us would turn out like what happened now in the present...

I wish everything was still fine... always gonna be fine...

But one cannot wish for too much...